Clarity, Pt 2

Tighten wordy sentences
Some phrases are redundant: 'is now employed' can be replaced with 'works'. Depending on the style of writing, this is frequently a good idea. Simplifying the structure is something I need to work on. I do use a lot of these phrases for effect, but they probably don't all work as well as a simpler sentence would.

Misplaced and dangling modifiers
Most of the time I can put a modifier where it ought to be, but sometimes it's hard to tell and sounds awkward no matter how I revise it. At times, again for effect, I will put them in places that compromise the meaning of the sentence.

Emphasize key ideas
Coordinating ideas requires careful analysis of the ideas in the sentence to determine which idea is more important to the message. This is a more subtle idea in revision which I intend to study more.
Punctuation is another key to emphasizing ideas to their best potential.

Choose appropriate language
I thought the slang section of this topic was funny; seeing the word 'yack' in a grammar handbook, even if it it's crossed out, was still a surprise. I have used some photojournalism jargon in my analyses, and I'll be careful not to do so in the more formal assignments.



Tighten wordy sentences
Original

A few months after this graphic image of the reality of famine was published in the New York Times, Carter was awarded the Pulitzer Prize amid heavy criticism from the public. When, a little over a year later, the photographer committed suicide, it was widely rumored that it was this criticism that prompted the act.

Revised
A few months after this graphic image of the reality of famine was published in the New York Times, Carter was awarded the Pulitzer Prize amid heavy criticism from the public. When, a little over a year later, the photographer committed suicide, it was widely rumored that it was this denunciation that prompted the act.

Misplaced and dangling modifiers
Original
So few people knew anything about what was happening during the scene in which the photo was shot. Would there have been such an outpouring of vitriol had the public known more?  

Revised
It was tragic that so few people knew anything about what was happening during the scene in which the photo was shot. Would there have been such an outpouring of vitriol had the public known more?  

Emphasize Key Ideas

Original

Even after the devastating loss of his best friend, photojournalist Ken Oosterbroeck, who was killed on the day he’d been away to be interviewed about winning the Pulitzer, Carter did his best to live up to the much sought after prize he’d been awarded, adding weight to the pressure he was already under from the attacks from the public, some even calling him “inhumane” for failing to assist the child in the photo. Even then, his strength seemed to be waning: “You could see it happening,” recalls Carter’s friend, Reedwaan Vally. “You could see Kevin sink into a dark fugue.”

Revised
In the months that followed, Carter did his best to live up to the much sought-after prize he’d won. The personal attacks from the public, with some calling his actions “inhumane” for failing to assist the child in the photo, had a profound effect on him. Then came another devastating blow: while Carter was away for an interview about the Pulitzer, his best friend, photojournalist Ken  Oosterbroeck, was killed. Already burdened with tremendous guilt, his strength waned.  “You could see it happening,” recalls Carter’s friend, Reedwaan Vally. “You could see Kevin sink into a dark fugue.”


Choose appropriate language
Original
Carter traveled back to Africa, spending time in Mozambique on assignment. Upon his return to the US, he discovered that his entire collection of film from the trip had been left on the plane, never to be recovered. 

Revised
Carter traveled back to Africa, spending time in Mozambique on assignment. When he returned to the US, he discovered that his entire collection of film from the trip had been left on the plane, never to be recovered.
 

Revised Conclusion

The revision is better because it is written in a more organized way. The transition from body to conclusion still needs work, but this one reads much better. I liked the approach in the Student's Guide of answering the "so what?" so I changed the last paragraph with this in mind.

Original conclusion

A close friend of Carter, the war correspondent Judith Matloff, said once that he would “talk about the guilt of the people he couldn’t save because he photographed them as they were being killed.” This was an impossible weight for him to bear alone. The burden had been getting steadily heavier with every act of violence he witnessed and recorded.  He to show the world what was happening, a world that did expect him to do just that.  

To first misunderstand, and then condemn, what a photojournalist does, or in this case, fails to do, are symptoms of a much larger social problem in society: misconceptions that signaled the end of Kevin Carter.

Revised conclusion

A close friend of Carter, the war correspondent Judith Matloff, said once that he would “talk about the guilt of the people he couldn’t save because he photographed them as they were being killed.” The weight of that guilt had been getting steadily heavier with every act of violence he witnessed and recorded, until it became impossible to bear alone. Yet it seemed that the rest of the world expected him to do just that, even while under personal attack.

The misconceptions surrounding this issue did more than just wrongly condemn one photojournalist. They illustrate the deep cultural and social chasms that exist between people in a world that is, for all intents and purposes, getting smaller. It is a foregone conclusion that there will always be differences of opinion among people. But disregarding relevant facts that surround photojournalism will only make these divisions wider, causing the war, the violence,  and the famines to continue. The question is not only whether photojournalism should be supported and preserved by the people, but whether the truth should be as well.

Revised Introduction

Note: I didn't include the photo in the following two versions of the introduction, but noted where it is placed. The image is not one that I wish to add in a simple revision, out of respect for the subject matter. Thx.

I feel the revision is better than the first draft in that the ideas are worded more clearly and precisely. Some of the original sentences and phrasing were awkwardly written. I also think that the two sides of the debate were made clearer.

Introduction - draft #1

Even with the 24-hour news cycle keeping us constantly informed about world events, with its myriad of occurrences from the banal to the atrocious, there are still some images that have stood out as exceptional and have burned their likenesses into the consciousness of an entire generation of people. One such photo created a moral outcry against the very photojournalist who shot it.               

(photo and caption)             

A few months after this graphic image of the reality of famine was published in the New York Times, Carter was awarded the Pulitzer Prize amid heavy criticism from the public. When, a little over a year later, the photographer committed suicide, it was widely rumored that it was this criticism that prompted the act.

There are many important societal questions that can be asked in light of the events in Kevin Carter’s story. Many of those who were part of the outrage and attacks on his moral character would go so far as to ask if images of war, violence, famine, and suffering should even be published.  But barring censorship, how much social support ought the practice have, for the profession and for the photojournalists themselves? “Emotional detachment allowed Carter and other photojournalists to witness countless tragedies and continue the job,” notes writer Leslie Maryann Neal. “The world’s intense reactions to the vulture photo appeared to be punishment for this necessary trait.”

Introduction - revised draft:

Even with the 24-hour news cycle keeping us constantly informed about global events, with its myriad of events from the banal to the atrocious, there are some images that stand out as exceptional, their likenesses etched into the minds of an entire generation of people. One such photo, taken in Sudan in 1993, caused a moral outcry against the very photojournalist who shared it with the world, an outcry that resonates to this day.                

(photo and caption)             

A few months after this graphic image of the reality of famine was published in the New York Times, Kevin Carter was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his work in photojournalism. Heavy criticism from the public followed the announcement. When, a little over a year later, Mr. Carter committed suicide, it was widely rumored that it was this criticism that prompted the act.

There are many important societal questions that must be asked in light of these events. Many of the people who so fiercely attacked Mr. Carter’s character have gone so far as to protest the publication of images of war, violence, famine, and suffering.  Such an extreme position on the subject cannot, of course, be entertained in any debate. Putting aside the non-solution of censorship, then, a much more appropriate question remains: how much social support ought the practice have, for the profession and for the photojournalists themselves?

Reflection on Pt 2 Draft

Here are the two drafts I reviewed:

By Aaron Jatana
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Kga9twc8EUUOZlvxsu0uWg5uNt2WK51_Lq6vrlayOGI/edit

By Selena Carbajal
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1Fn_sneh5jgpeg3V8c4xlzTzPUA9i2GAC6TT81xNnIlM/edit

The readers of this essay will be well-informed public citizens who are aware of and concerned about social issues, especially in the global arena. Students and instructors are, for the most part, included.

My readers may have biases about conflict, photojournalism as a profession, and suicide. In telling plainly the events that occurred, I am giving the readers the respect by not going much beyond the facts themselves, as that can lead to hyperbole and manipulation. The facts are difficult to hear for those that are sensitive to these issues, and the best way I can think of to approach this is to let the message speak for itself.

 Truth, integrity, selflessness, and service to others are their values and expectations. I'm meeting both of these by giving them a wider perspective and a clearer picture of what happened. Context is an extremely important factor here. The humane qualities of the photog emerge as the facts unfold, which brings sympathy and open-mindedness to his plight.

Because this story is rooted in another culture that is drastically different from American culture, certain kinds of information are needed for understanding. Because of the scope of the reading audience, it would be more effective to give as much cultural context as possible, while at the same time, limiting phrases that are too technical or are irrelevant to this context.

The story's facts speak very much for themselves, so compelling, yet simple, language is appropriate. This article wouldn't be appropriate for anyone not mature enough to understand the situation and its implications.

The tone should be somber and respectful, yet quietly intense. This tone would be most effective if used throughout, as the situation that Kevin Carter was in is ongoing with no end in sight, and there's no room for a uplifting conclusion. The tone should fit the subject matter.

Draft of P1 #2

World Press Photo

Popplet #2

Popplet #2

Draft of Rhetorical Analysis #2

Draft of Rhetorical Analysis

Clarity pt. 1

Shifts
Tenses have always been challenging, but in non-fiction writing it is good to know what's correct form. The information on indirect and direct questions and quotations is helpful, but sometimes the correct form seems awkward or too stiff and formal.

Active verbs
I've always struggled with passive and active voice; sometimes it simply doesn't read well to use active voice.  Depending on the style of the writing and subject matter, I'll probably still struggle, but at least I know the default to use in non-fiction writing.

Parallel ideas
This is great information. It explains why some texts read more smoothly and effectively than others. It's this kind of detail that I'd like to work into my writing. The idea of balance in individual sentences is intriguing. The meter and pacing are affected by this kind of subtlety, too.

Needed words
I've left words out that I didn't think I needed to avoid being wordy or over-explanatory. The idea of balance applies here too; sometimes less isn't more, it's just confusing. The ambiguous sentence is something I try hard to avoid as the meaning of a sentence can totally change with the addition of one word.

Draft of Rhetorical Analysis

The essay is an attempt to change the perception of photojournalists some have, especially those who work in war-torn or otherwise dangerous situations, as exploitative and inhumane. It examines the story of one photojournalist in particular and uses rhetoric to alter a common misconception concerning his death in 1994. I focused more on Carter as the subject, whose own rhetoric was used in the article this essay is based on, than the author of the text. The result is a much more subtle analysis than I had originally planned, but I feel the rhetorical strength of the essay is what makes it effective.

I wonder if someone could comment on my use of transitions?

Kevin Carter

Project 2 Outline

Introduction
Will include a brief background of the issue: the photo that was shot by Kevin Carter and the sensation it created, the backlash, and the results of this. Will mention that in addition to clarifying the actual chain of events that led up to his suicide, a closer look will be taken into the ongoing debate that is at the heart of the story.

Thesis
Kevin Carter was wrongly criticized for the shooting photo, and for his acceptance of the Pulitzer. Even the reasons for his suicide have been misunderstood. I believe that at the core of this criticism there is an underlying disapproval for the photos that Kevin Carter and others in his profession offer up to the world, and that photos of this nature are considered exploitative, insensitive, and opportunist. If this work was more socially supported,  in the larger scheme of things, he might not have had to struggle so much with his conscience and his doubt that he was doing the correct thing, and may still be alive today.

Develop an analytical claim
The thesis is debatable in that there have been photos shot that actually do fit the criticisms above. The challenge then is to develop rhetoric that puts the photo in question in a credible light. This will be done by adding more context to the situation in which it was shot, ie, the photog was surrounded by armed soldiers in a war zone.
It is supportable by the text; the article will include quotes about the photog, the profession, and the personal tragedies that someone in it can and often does face, to sustain its main claim.

Support the analytical claim with good reasons
Describing the scenes that were typical of Kevin Carter's work will illustrate the personal issues he grappled with in order to stay where he was in his career, which he continued on in even at great personal cost. It will refute the claim that he was 'inhumane' when shooting scenes of terrible violence.

Body
To help persuade the reader that the criticism of the public was unwarranted, the closed nature of what some called the Bang Bang Club will be illustrated with the goal of making people realize there is much more to the situation than they know as non-journalists.
Much of the textual evidence that will be included is briefly mentioned above.

Conclusion
I will summarize and put together the final idea that readers will ideally take from the text.

Evaluation of Rhetorical Situations

                            Author/Speaker                Audience                                  Context

Source 1              No author credited            Adult audience                        Ethical concerns in public


Source 2              Leslie Maryann Neal        General mature audience         Psychological effects                                                                                                                          of controversy


Source 3             Cord Jefferson                    General audience                     Social stigma                                                                                                                           and criticism 

Draft Thesis Statements

Kevin Carter, the photojournalist who shot a photo in Sudan in 1993 of a small emaciated child being closely watched by a nearby bird of prey, won the Pulitzer for his work. He was widely criticized for shooting the photo to begin with instead of going immediately to the child and rendering aid. A year after accepting the award, he took his own life. Rumors spread rapidly about his reasons for doing so: many were of the opinion that the guilt, embarrassment, shame from accepting an award by way of exploiting a child barely living through a famine was too much for him. However, by putting together the relevant facts of his life, we see a person who was much more troubled and haunted by his occupation than was generally known, and that the situation in which he shot the photo was not something he had any control over.

It is easy to make snap judgements about people we don't know personally, especially if they are in the public eye. Photojournalists, in their mission to inform the public, can often seem cold and unaffected emotionally by the sometimes horrific images they capture. In this text, the author seeks to change this perception with regard to one photojournalist, using parts of his back-story to lend credibility to his work, stories from friends and co-workers who knew him well, even intimately, about his daily emotional ordeal, and the sociopolitical situation of the subjects he shot, which was, typically, a major problem.

Statement 1: Kevin Carter was not a cold-blooded overly ambitious photojournalist who took the opportunity to exploit a starving child for his own gain instead of assisting her. He was necessarily detached from, but not unaffected, by the atrocities he witnessed. It was this, and a series of misfortunes in his life, that eventually caused his suicide, and not guilt from winning the award.

Statement 2: The photos of people living and dying in areas of war and famine are not exploitative, but necessary for the rest of the public to see, process, and be aware of, the problems in the global society in which we all live.

I don't see many problems in being able to develop this thesis statement, short of not finding much varied supporting material; this text is just a part of a wider picture in photo journalistic ethics.

Reflection:
I had a thought that a more organized thesis statement with precise points would be easier to use to write a draft. Its also a good idea to use emotional appeals on issues like budgeting the research efforts of programs like NASA; numbers and stats aren't always enough.

http://acjatana2.blogspot.com/2015/07/draft-thesis-statements-1-in-article.html?showComment=1438222705415#c8828836111762087897

Again, simplicity is as important as the topic.

http://selenacarbajal19.blogspot.com/2015/07/draft-thesis-statements.html?showComment=1438222498545#c3847099080267286147

I don't know that I will alter the main bulk of what I've already written, but I know that the major parts of the draft will need to meld and transition more effectively.

Reflection #2:
Sometimes it's good to consider combining two separate ideas into one more inclusive and yet precise statement. Unneeded words can make a statement unwieldy and confusing. Language level is an important thing to consider when writing for a specific audience.

http://adamkarsten.blogspot.com/2015/07/draft-thesis-statements.html?showComment=1438392572606#c4670535882326414590

When I found that my article wasn't as substantive as I first thought it was, I figured it was a way to see how creative I could get without being disingenuous. It's made the writing process easier and more difficult at the same time; less material to work with saves time and agony, but it also means I don't get to assert certain things that I would have liked to had there been a stronger link to the idea in the article. On the whole, though, constraints can be a good thing.
http://livinginsonder.blogspot.com/2015/07/draft-thesis-statements.html?showComment=1438394101507#c3133230319847841798

Analyzing my Audience

Beliefs and assumptions: A child in a dangerous situation must be helped. Anything else is unthinkable. Everyone else in the world, on the whole, agrees with this moral tenet. If you help someone else, you will be thanked and even rewarded, and not threatened or killed.

Appropriate language: College-level rhetoric. Use of sociopolitical terms, especially the more commonly known ones like apartheid. This ties in with the audience's level of education, and also their sociopolitical and economic backgrounds, which tend to be middle to upper class, at least in the United States. A wider span includes more people of lower socioeconomic means as the audience expands outside the country.

This audience may change any wrong assumptions they may have had about Mr. Carter once they read the text. They often change their positions when new evidence is presented, if they are convinced the new facts and arguments are sound. There is a good deal less internalization of social beliefs, especially in the area of identity, in this audience then there are in others which may prefer less controversial material. They will want to know more about the photographer himself and the details of the situations he was so often in while working. More about what was happening on the day and at the moment he shot the photo he was so criticized for would be good information.

A combination of new facts, contexts, and emotional revelations would work for this audience in terms of persuasion, although the facts would be the most convincing. If the personal character of the person in question emerges as fair and good, it would persuade them more than if the person turned out to be a callous or incompetent.

Cluster of "How Photojournalism Killed Kevin Carter"

The title of the article is in the center, with two main branches. Each branch has a rhetorical strategy at its center. Branching out from the strategy branches are more specific examples of the strategy itself.
Cluster of "How Photojournalism Killed Kevin Carter"

Analyzing Rhetorical Strategies in "How Photojournalism Killed Kevin Carter"

Note: After attempting to write two separate entries for the first two rhetorical strategies, it made more sense to combine them because of the intense nature of the text.

Appeals to Credibility and Character/Emotion: The photojournalist grew up in South Africa during apartheid. This fact was accompanied by personal anecdotes about him; both increase the credibility of his character, experience, and dedication. Word choice (words like sickening and horror are used) for the obvious effect it would have on the reader. There is no reference to the author's expertise, but the article is not geared toward the analysis or interpretation of new material, but to the skill of the featured photographer. The visual arrangement of the photographs is such that you are faced with large color photos of the work of the dead photographer. Very effectively appeals to the sense of compassion of the reading audience. People are more hesitant to make the wrong conclusions about someone if they feel empathy for them. The author does seem biased on an emotional level, but because of the lesser-known facts she provided for the story, it doesn't hurt her credibility.


Appears to Logic: In addition to providing photos taken in situations that were obviously dangerous, disturbing, and unpredictable, to illustrate how such situations can lead to emotional trauma, there are many examples given of how the photojournalist reacted to his experience. The tone of the text is somber, but not formal. Interviews with friends of the photojournalist confirmed that he was anything but emotionally detached, and how he was prevented by the threat of harm or even death from giving aid to any of the Sudanese people. Including children. Rather than employing a logical fallacy to get her point across, she aims to debunk the fallacies, particularly ad hominem, surrounding the death of Mr. Carter.

Analyzing Message in "How Journalism Killed Kevin Carter"

The points that are most relevant to the text's message and purpose:

• Respond to a particular occasion. It is a specific photo and chain of events that sparked the controversy that the text is about.
• Explore a topic. Is it ethical to shoot, and print for distribution, photos of atrocities and accept awards based on those photos?
• Inform the reader about a common misconception. It is a common, and false, belief held by the public that Kevin Carter committed suicide due to criticism he received for being awarded the Pulitzer Prize for a controversial photo.
• Persuade readers of something, by giving additional relevant information to them that supports their version.
• Reflect on a topic. The text brings a new perspective based on facts that aren't widely known.
• Move the readers to feel a certain way by appealing to their sense of sympathy; describing the predicament of Mr. Carter, one that he had had for years during his career.

The points that aren't relevant:

• Express an opinion or idea. The text is a response to a situation and did not attempt to fabricate any new theories.
•  Analyze, synthesize, or interpret. None of the events that happened are evaluated in this way.
• Advocate for change. The text wasn't about the wider problem of photojournalists struggling with emotional and mental problems, but about the story of one tragedy.

I see many nuances in the piece. There is an underlying tone of compassion and sympathy in the words and phrases the author chooses to use.

Analyzing My Own Assumptions

One of the main cultural values we share is assisting the vulnerable, especially children. Often this value takes precedence over personal safety, particularly when a personal risk has a good chance of succeeding. It has endured because of the social wiring of the human race; to help others survive is to ensure the propagation of the species. Our social ties provide meaning to life, and the circumstances surrounding them, whether good or bad, are maintained by helping others when help is needed.

There are no values or beliefs that I can see in the text that we don't share. The ideas that the article is meant to change, especially judging a person or issue before the facts are known, are actually the ones that we don't share as a culture.

The cultural values that dominate and control the fates of the Sudanese people and the ones that (ordinary) Americans hold are, on the whole, very different. It is what the power base in the Sudan  values that we are culturally against. Certainly in the case of political values, it is important to differentiate between the values of the culture and the values of the powers that direct the populace.

The text is written about occurrences that took place in the early 90's, which isn't exactly contemporary, but the moral issues around which this piece was done rarely change, unlike technological texts where obsolescence is a given.

EDIT:
I learned from my two classmates' blogs: The potential for a humanitarian bias is high, which can and does conflict with political bias. A cultural bias must be addressed and dealt with as well; what would have been the repercussions for Kevin Carter if he'd tried to help the child he photographed? The assumption that children's lives are to be protected in society has to be challenged for any analysis of this kind to be possible. 

http://selenacarbajal19.blogspot.com/2015/07/analyzing-my-own-assumptions.html?showComment=1438040924170#c7741733232156690817

http://livinginsonder.blogspot.com/2015/07/analyzing-my-own-assumptions.html?showComment=1438042117829#c3585124978647198496

Analyzing my Audience

The positive value of assisting the vulnerable, especially children, plays one of the most prominent roles in the text. The negative value of educating others in moral behavior, including severely criticizing the perceived behavior, is also evident. (The author's values in writing the piece include truth and clarity.)

The text presents a scenario to illustrate the values rather than addressing the issues directly. The elements in the scenario (the photo and the circumstances surrounding it) are such that they encourage the emergence and discussion of the values stated above without directly addressing them.

The tone of the text is critical second of the two main values, but not hostile to it; as mentioned above, the text is about persuasion and supports the value of assisting others, including those that are doing the assisting. She also believes that she can modify the value by giving facts that shed sympathetic light on Mr. Carter and his own plight.

In addition to this, I find a great irony in the reaction of Mr. Carter's critics: the overwhelming (and appropriate) concern for the child in the photograph did not extend to the human being who shot the photo. No concern was shown to him for the horrific scenes he'd witnessed and for how they affected him.

Cultural Analysis of "How Photojournalism Killed Kevin Carter"

Keywords: Detachment, extreme violence, tragedies, inhumane, interfere (ing), guilt, depression, punishment.

Main thesis: Kevin Carter's suicide was not directly caused by winning the Pulitzer Prize for a highly controversial photo.

Cultural values: non-interference, violence as a means to power, rendering aid to the vulnerable.

The keywords help support the argument the author is making by describing facts and events that were
1. not considered by those on the other side of the controversy, and 
2. may have been overlooked and overshadowed by the more sensational issue of the photo and award.

Aside from this, the author presents this information in an unapologetic, yet conciliatory style, as if her goal in writing the article is to clear up a common misconception about the late Mr. Carter.

The author knows the values of her audience very well in that she presumes that they can be persuaded with facts. Her presentation humanizes the photographer and seeks to correct assumptions that those in his profession are callous and unfeeling.

Developing a Research Question

The issue of photography and objectivity is one fraught with ethical questions. Some of the most iconic, illuminating, moving, disturbing, and significant photos ever taken have been shrouded in controversy ever since their first public appearance. Many of them depict someone who is vulnerable to danger or even death. The question I wish to look into is in two parts: should photographers render aid to someone in imminent danger or seize the opportunity to give a potentially society-altering photo to the world? and, if the second choice is taken, who, if anyone, should publish or print the photo? Another related question is, what exactly characterizes the public demand for such photos? Observing life from a distance is something a competent photographer is good at.

Reflections on Project 1

Two challenges I dealt with during the project included finding multiple sources of my chosen controversy on the internet, and melding what sources I could find into a cohesive and viable article.
I had to find a pattern and a common thread with the sources I found. The controversy is about an important but relatively specialized subject, and so the stories on the internet were limited in number. I had to use sources that were concerned with the bigger question of ethics, of which my controversy was a small subtopic.
I feel I succeeded in asking a complex question and providing a good introductory answer on which further discussion could be built.
I found that a more philosophical argument and rhetorical style was best for an article of that specific scope and format. I thought the design should be simple and relevant to the text. The use of quotes was an especially good writing practice for two reasons: the technical expertise of the people involved in the subject, and the eloquence with which they, as artists, spoke about ethics in their profession.
The study and use of writing formats like MLA was work I've done before in school. Some of the research methods were the same.
The detail involved in this project is more intense than a lot of my past projects. This will be useful in my other course work because writing and communicating clearly is what photojournalism is about. This is a good starting point.

Discussing Photojournalism: The Digital Influence

(There is no option to attach a .pdf link or exporting a google draft that I could find. Above is the hyperlink. Thx.)

Identifying Basic Grammar Patterns

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1LzIG7i027D3QjtqVnCyiGntMLQl38QF6OYE7MdBUhuI/edit

This exercise taught me that there are many more different sentence patterns than I've considered before.

Varying the purposes of sentences would be something I'd like to explore further in my writing.

Reflection on Project One Draft

1. I reviewed TMT vs Mauna Kea by Aaron Jatana. 

2. 

The essay was meant for a general audience, one that has at least some interest in photojournalism. It will be read by the class instructor and students in the class.

My readers will have an academic bias in that the essay will be read critically and given comments. I did not attempt to persuade or alter anyone's opinion but achieved the point with facts and quotes.

The readers could have a wide variety of values; professional integrity would probably be among the most highly regarded. The objectivity of the essay ties directly in with this value.

The essay doesn't need to provide much technical information. What limited terminology there is is self-explanatory. Ethics is the main idea of the essay, and photojournalism is a subset that doesn't require expert knowledge.

An open, inquisitive tone would be most effective, with nothing that is preachy or condescending. The tone seems to be the same throughout.

Integrating A Quote

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Establishing Authority

 Signal Phrase

 Quote

Summary of Debating the Rules and Ethics of Photojournalism

Step One: 

This year's World Press Photo contest had 20% of entries disqualified. Significant alterations, including adding and taking some elements out of the images, were the reason. This number is three times as many last year's figure. There is a growing concern about this problem. The article is a forum of sorts for the photojournalism community.

Michelle McNally, former WPP juror says that digital photography is now the accepted way of the industry, and that new rules need to be developed to preserve the integrity of the profession. Many of the disqualifications happened during the comparison of the finished photo to the RAW file. In many cases, the two images were very dissimilar. "Sloppy" photoshop manipulation was another reason for disqualification. Once the jury saw the evidence of manipulation, they were "shocked" by the high aesthetic quality of the image. It brought up concern that people could feel lied to and cheated by photojournalists, if this kind of alteration became accepted as normal. The fact that the photographers didn't feel they had done anything wrong reinforces the idea that the WPP needs to revise its rules.

Melissa Lyttle, indie photographer, talks about one difference between the WPP and POYi rules: the latter does not require a RAW file with each entry. If one is needed, it is provided, and photo dis-qualifiers are caught at the "front end rather than the back." She goes on to say that there's a "slippery slope" leading to acceptance of this practice and is concerned with the irreparable damage loss of trust would do to the profession.

An anonymous photographer brought up the fact that comparing finished images to RAW files was not an ideal way to judge a photo, since it has much more data than a negative does. The rules that are obvious and necessary are followed, according to anonymous. The implication is that the rules do not consider the very spirit of the discipline the award seeks to honor. 

Lars Boering, WPP managing editor, defends the contest rules, stating that there is "no indication that the rules are unclear to the participating photographers." The fact that the entrants willingly gave the RAW files along with the photographs, he claims, shows that they "understood the rules." Possible remedies, including an instructional video, have been discussed. Altering rules would require a general shift in the profession, and even then, some rules, like adding or removing material, will not be debated at all.

David Campbell talks about the difference between manipulation and processing, and of the importance of clarity and transparency in the WPP rules.

Patrick Baz talks about the feeling of sadness these issues bring to a lot of the community, and of how simply and easily manipulation can be done now, by anyone who has a computer. A "ten commandments" is needed for the profession, he says, lest abusers damage the "journalism" in "photojournalism", which is of higher importance.

Main Claims:

Manipulation has a very limited place in photojournalism.

Rules must be adhered to in order to preserve journalistic integrity.

The evolution of the profession's technology must be accounted for in the rules, which must be flexible enough to preserve the spirit of the profession.

The rules are often unclear.

Step Two:

There are two clearly delineated  sides to the debate on image manipulation and ethics in the field of photojournalism. One side claims that the rules of photojournalism contests are paramount and that they must be upheld to preserve the credibility and integrity of the profession. The other states that the onset of digital photography has brought too many new factors to the practice for the established rules to cover, and that revision and transparency, along with a sensitivity to the craft and its evolution, is needed.

Step Three:

I see no changes that have to be made at this time.

Step Four:
I reviewed Aaron's summary and found the structure very similar to my own. 

 

Draft of Quick Reference Guide

This draft is about ethics and rules on photojournalism. I provided some links in the text for further clarification. I'd like to know if the main idea is clear or if it needs further revision? Thank you!

Note: The link was taken from the "view" mode in Google Docs. Not sure if it will lead you to the editing page or not, but to be sure I cut and pasted the entire original text in a separate Word Doc.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-1kPYvs0EF2ZTlABqDexI1EQKIn3xD-fV5kjTUumYvM/edit

Summary of World Press Photo Stands By Controversial Award

Step One: 

A complaint from a city official prompted an investigation of photos. Allegations of photo staging and misrepresenting a city in Belgium called Charleroi occurred. The WPP made a statement rebuffing the claims and announced that it would stand by the decision. More controversy among photojournalists who could hold the statement of "The contest requires photojournalists do not stage pictures to show something that would otherwise have not taken place." as open to interpretation. The mayor of Charleroi protested what he claimed were negative misrepresentations in the photographer's work. Because of the letter, the WPP probed further into the photographer's work and process, requiring him to divulge this information. The necessary officials convened, discussed the information, decided there was no reason to proceed any further, and stood by their original decision. The photographer, Giovanni Troilo, made a statement that the city was a metaphor for his project, and claimed he knew the city intimately. He called it "La Ville Noire", or "The Black City" as a social statement about the lack of work for the city's diverse population. Claiming to have talked at length with the less mainstream, or those living "outside of the central ring", the many photos taken were narrowed down to a small cross-section of the population. Troilo also spoke of his method of asking questions of the press and checking them against his own conclusions, concerning himself with presenting an accurate view of the city. The methodology of how the photos were taken, whether a candid shot or portraiture, was discussed, as well as the use of captions to create a story of the city. Troilo claimed to have significant support of the people of the city. A detailed account of the captioning and the images taken then follows.

Two:

The main claims/supporting evidence seem to be: 

The city of Charleroi was misrepresented in a negative way by the photos. At least one photo was staged. The WPP and the photographer interpret the rules of the contest differently. Even so, the WPP is, for the time being, standing by the decision to award Mr. Troilo. The photographer explains in detail the process of each photo and the explanations are scrutinized.

The World Press Photo, despite allegations of photo staging and misrepresentation of the City of Charleroi, decided after a detailed investigation to stand by its decision to award Giovanni Troilo First Prize in the WPP Photojournalism Contest for 2015. 

Three:
All necessary information is included in the above summary.

Four:

My summary really only has a few direct quotes from the article, and that's the only way it seems to differ from Selena's. The subject matter is completely different, and so we did not identify the same claims or evidence. The form of both summaries is consistent.

QRGs, the Genre

The use of headings and subheadings, Q&A sections, graphics, links, numbered/bulleted lists, and language that is understood by the average lay person are common conventions.

The formatting and design choices define these conventions by their flexibility and array. Their purpose seems to be to inform, educate, and persuade, not to take a particular side of an issue, but to entertain all sides of it. The intended audience for these types of articles generally are not experts in the field. Their audiences can certainly overlap, but taken one by one, they are focused on different reading audience, in that the topics vary widely.


Edit:
http://acjatana2.blogspot.com/2015/07/qrgs-genre-conventions-of-quick.html?showComment=1437339712610#c5775720602864460688

I liked the use of examples and more detailed information. My answers tended to be short and to the point on this part.

http://acjatana2.blogspot.com/2015/07/qrgs-genre-conventions-of-quick.html?showComment=1437339712610#c5775720602864460688

Again, a more expansive list of answers than mine; however I do think the same points got across.

http://helenofalaska.blogspot.com/2015/07/qrds-genre.html?showComment=1437340486414#c6627328724341426180

A very thorough list of answers. While I do attempt to match the content of my answers to what information the question requires, my answers did not go into the specifics of each QRG. I do feel that my answers are complete, but as far as providing extra information,  they were not as detailed as those of the others provided.

Edit2:
http://livinginsonder.blogspot.com/2015/07/qrgs-genre.html
A very short and precise answer. A good writing style, one I use quite frequently when appropriate.

http://selenacarbajal19.blogspot.com/2015/07/qrgs-
genre.html?showComment=1437443996789#c4143127167598505070
We have a different style and seems like we also had different interpretations of the questions. Selena uses examples in an effective way, something I may do more of.

(At this point I either don't have access to the other blogs, or I've already replied to them, which is why there are only 2 links here. Thx.)

Cluster of World Press Photo Controversy

In the center of the cluster is the name of the controversy, which linked to the major players in the issue. Those links attach to quotes and values. All groups and everything having to do with each are color-coded.

http://popplet.com/app/#/2585398

Annotated Bibliography in MLA Style

https://owl.english.purdue.edu/owl/resource/747/08/ 

Donadio, Rachel.  "World Press Photo Revokes Prize." The New York Times (2015). C1. 16 July         2015   <http://www.nytimes.com/2015/03/05/arts/design/world-press-photo-revokes-prize.html?_r=0> 

Donadio explains that the World Press Photo revoked an award after an investigation concerning staging practices was completed. The primary audience for this article is made up of photojournalists, photographers, and photography enthusiasts. It discusses the ethics of staging photos and whether this is actually photojournalism or art photography, and also whether this practice is misleading in the context of photojournalism. The WPP and the photographer each had arguments supporting their side of the controversy and so clear communication is also a key idea. This will help shape the main question of the essay.

Christafis, Angelique.  "World Press Photo Award Withdrawn Over Violation Of Rules." The Guardian (2015).  16 July 2015 <http://www.theguardian.com/media/2015/mar/05/world-press-photo-award-withdrawn-over-violation-of-rules>
Christafis discusses how the post-award investigation began and by whom. She explains the rationale of the investigators and also the importance they assign to consistency in adherence to the stated rules. The purpose of the article is to further inform the reader about the reasons why the situation is controversial at all. This will shed light on the values behind the rules and examine the ethical quandary the WPP was in after the investigation was over.

Devoss, Danielle Nicole and Julie Platt. "Image Manipulation and Ethics in a Digital-Visual World." Bowling Green State University Press (2011).  16 July 2015 <http://www2.bgsu.edu/departments/english/cconline/ethics_special_issue/DEVOSS_PLATT/#top>
Devoss and Platt discuss the fact that our culture tends to favor photographic truth and machine objectivity. This, they claim, can cause problems in the way we represent ourselves and our work. The semantics of the argument between photojournalism and art photography is at the heart of the photo staging issue, in that, despite what the authors call rhetorical ethics, these terms seem to be open to interpretation, depending on which values both sides hold.

       Mäenpää, Jenni.  "Rethinking Photojournalism: The Changing Work Practices and                               Professionalism of Photojournalists in the Digital Age."  Nordicom Review 35.2 (2014). 91-104. 17 July 2015   < http://nordicom.gu.se/sites/default/file /kapitelpdf/                                                                        nordicom_review_35_2014_2_pp._91-104.pdf
       Mäenpää states that photojournalism has faced many unique challenges since the 1980's, when the digitalization of the media first began. An interesting question that arises from this is whether or ot the World Press Photo's rules are too stringent and whether practices like staging belong in photohournalism. She quotes an artist whose opinion was that untouched photos have "nothing to do with reality." The evolution of technology does have a place in photojournalism, and the author discusses whether rules like those of the WPP's contest ought to be revised in light of technological developments.

91

 

     Walker, David.  "World Press Photo Disqualifies Controversial Prize Winner." PDN Online             (2015). 17 July 2015 <http://pdnpulse.pdnonline.com/2015/03/world-press-photo-disqualifies-controversial-prize-winner.html>

Walker sheds light on another problem with the winning entries of the contest, that of blatant dishonesty that the photographer was accused of. His angle brings to the table whether or not the winner of the prize purposely mislead the contest judges or whether it was an oversight as the winner claimed. This in an interesting turn in the story in that this was what first caused the investigation in the first place, and whether or not the staging of the photographs would have been discovered or questioned, since this was not the reason for the revocation of the award.


NPPA.org.  "World Press Photo Stands by Controversial Award." NPPA (2015). 18 July 2015  <https://nppa.org/node/70388>
The staff member (no specific name is given) brings up another side to the argument, one the seems to sympathize with the photographer rather than the WPP. The main reason for the disqualification here is the staging of the winning photograph, but throws doubt on whether the contest rules are consistent with the name of the contest. This article was written before the revocation, casting doubt on whether its grounds were dishonesty in captioning the photo, or in staging another photo. I can use this ambiguity as an interesting inquiry into why the disqualification really occurred.


SantaSCSI. "World Press Photo Winner Causes Uproar With Local Politicians." Reddit (2015).        25 Feb 2015 <https://www.reddit.com/r/photography/comments/2x601q/world_press_photo_winner_causes_uproar_with_local/>
The entry writer is a Belgian resident, who did not agree with the mayor of Charleroi's characterization of the photos. This brings up again that the interpretation of the WPP's contest and its rules vary among the interested parties. It shows a split in values that I can use to emphasize the rift.



Losbanosgardencottage. "MCDP Hails Decision to Disqualify Giovanni Troilo." WordPress (2015). 5 March 2015  <https://mcdpblog.wordpress.com/2015/03/05/mcdp-hails-wpp-decision-to-disqualify-giovanni-troilo/>
<http://petapixel.com/2015/03/04/world-press-photo-strips-giovanni-troilo-of-his-first-prize-win-for-misrepresenting-photo/> This is another blog entry that provides links to the main story. It is a more personal entry in that the writer clearly supports the side of the photographer. The second link (above) redirects to another article, stating that the photography crowd "grumbled" in its decision to initially stand by the award recipient. This is different from other articles that mentioned photographers in the field who supported that decision. I can use these to show the divide even further between the two main groups of the controversy.


The New York Times. "Debating the Rules and Ethics of Digital Photojournalism." New York Times Online (2015). 17 February 2015  <http://lens.blogs.nytimes.com/2015/02/17/world-press-photo-manipulation-ethics-of-digital-photojournalism/?_r=0>
The story includes the opinion of many more people in the controversy. The conversation is around digital post-production or manipulation of photos that are widely published. The idea of ethics is at the heart of the debate, which includes staging of photos in photojournalism. The higher incidence of disqualifications in recent years discussed. Data vs film is mentioned by a WPP member as a jumping off point for the ethics debate. The opinions of different photographers and photojournalists will aid in keeping the discussion balanced.

Ideology in My Controversy

Those involved in the controversy are the people working in the World Press Photo organization (particularly the judges of the contest and who awards the winning photographer), the person who was awarded and then had the award revoked, other photographers in the photojournalism community, and people who are interested in photography and are informed about who are the big players in the field.

The major writers are those who work within the WPP and professional, award-winning photographers, as well as advanced students of photojournalism who publish their work through the university press.

The WPP is a well-respected organization and its awards are much sought after for their prestige and the potential these awards have for significantly boosting a photojournalism career, both in influence and financial power. The photographer whose award was revoked obviously has some influence (his position was supported and defended by others during this controversy), but clearly not enough to sway the awards committee to continue their initial support of him as the award's recipient. The other photojournalists have power depending on their own status and credibility, which varies from individual to individual. The continued existence of the discipline does depend, of course on the interest and support of the audience.

The WPP has the resources of combined experience, expert knowledge, professional credentials, and financial support. Those within the organization have access to these resources, and most probably have sizable networks social resources.  The photography enthusiasts, while holding the least resources individually, have the resource of numbers on their side; there are many more enthusiasts than there are WPP executives and pro photojournalists.

The groups value ethics in photojournalism, honesty, skill, dedication to the craft, and the reputation they each hold. To a lesser extent, some parts of the group as a whole value freedom and flexibility in their work, originality, and an attitude of openness and non-conventional thinking.

The fact that the award exists at all supports the values of knowledge and skill. The fact that once the award was revoked, there was an outcry on the photographer's behalf, is evidence for the values of individuality and new ideas and ways of looking a things.

There is a power differential within the group which I believe is, on the whole, balanced well. The WPP is a prestigious organization, but without the individuals within it or the enthusiasts from outside the organization, their importance would dwindle to insignificance and irrelevance.

The support of photojournalism as a discipline, skill, and dedication are acknowledged common ground among the group. The perceived integrity and value of the WPP award is also common ground.

Honesty and ethics seem to be the unacknowledged common ground, most likely because of the different subtleties held by each group in relation to these values. There is a lot of gray area within these ideas for the people involved.

The various groups seem to listen to their own sub-groups more than integrating with others who may hold different opinions about the controversy. Opportunity and access are two main factors in this, but to a lesser extent, so are attitudes and personal feelings about other people in the field.

Evaluation of Social Media Sources

PDN

World Press Photo Disqualifies Controversial Winner

Credibility

The PDN Pulse is a professional blog by the editors of Photo District News. The quality and sponsors of the blog lend a lot of credibility. It can be Googled and the links work correctly.

Location

The blog itself is about professional photography and is from a well known source, the PDN. The blogger is a photographer himself, but did not appear to be directly involved with the controversy. The blog requires membership to post stories, and so the writer is involved with photojournalism in general.

Network

The blogger is an executive editor at PDN. There are other photographers blogging about him and talking about the article and other articles he's written.

Context

The content is consistent with all the other articles I've found on the controversy. Him being an executive at the PDN assures its public accuracy.

Contextual Updates

The blog post itself is an update from before the World Press Photo decided to revoke the award amidst the controversy.

Age

I don't see any information on how old the account is, but this seems unimportant due to the fact of the bloggers position in the organization.

Reliability

Again, the blogger's position in the photojournalism world shows the blog post's reliability.

World Press Photo Award withdrawn over violation of rules

Credibility/Reliability

The author is an independent photographer and from his other posts, keeps up on many social issues, especially the politics of photojournalism. (I've combined these two criteria in that there is not as much information on this blog and the author as there are in the above exapmle.)

Location

He is not directly involved with the controversy or with the WPP in an official capacity, living in Canberra, Australia. 

Network

The blogger does have a relatively small following, but his professional circle is made up of other photographers and journalists and not simply random readers.

Contextual Updates

No further updates as this controversy does seem to be over.

Age

The blog has been maintained very well with several blog posts per day. I see no information on how new the blog is, but it's scope lends to the fact that the blogger has been active in networking in the past and now.

Evaluating Scholarly Sources 

Image Manipulation and Ethics in a Digital-Visual World

The purpose of the paper is to discuss the specific technological/material conditions of the visual media, and how these conditions in making ethical judgments are dealt with.

It was published in the Bowling Green State University Press.

 A Reference Section is provided.

Authors are Daniell Nicole Devoss and Julie Platt. There is no further information about either.

The article is intended for students of photojournalism.

Rethinking Photojournalism

The Changing Work Practices and Professionalism

of Photojournalists in the Digital Age

   The purpose of the paper is to examine "how news photographers negotiate these changes in photo- journalistic work practices, and how they define their professional ambitions in the digital age."

 The article was published in the Nordicom Review.

There are various quotes from interview questions, with a Notes and a References section listing outside sources.

The author's name is Jenni Mäenpää; from the depth, quality, and format of the article, she is most like an expert or advanced student of journalism.

The article does expect the reading audience to have professional knowledge of the field of photojouralism.  

 

 

 

Evaluation of General Sources

"World Press Photo Revokes Prize"

URL: nytimes.com. The domain names imply the status of the holder, e.g., dot com is a commercial site, dot edu is an educational site, and so on. The names that seem to be the least credible, based on who the names belong to, are dot name and dot biz, which, at least at this point in our relationship with internet searching, are less recognizable and seen as a new, rather than an established, web presence.

Author: Rachel Donadio. The article provides a link to her profile as an NY Times contributor on their site.

Updates: A correction was posted on the site four days after its publication. There is no further update information. The links on the page include the subject of the article (in this case a photographer), the photographer's subject (an artist), the controversy subject matter itself (digital photo manipulation), and a link which clarifies comments made by people in the article. The links work and led me to the relevant information.

Purpose: The text is trying to inform the audience and does not promote any specific agenda.

Graphics: The only graphic used in the article is the photo at the middle of the controversy.

Position: The source does not seem biased. An error in the first posting was corrected. The World Press Photo does not really profit from the belief that the information is true, but it does retain control of the situation and how the story affects its reputation. Verification is possible, as there are many other articles from different sources on the same topic.

Links: There are no suggested links for further reading; the topical nature of the story is a likely reason. There are quotes from the top people at World Press Photo in the text of the article, most notably the managing director, but no links.

"World Press Photo award withdrawn over violation of rules"

URL: theguardian.com. As mentioned earlier, dot com implies a commercial site. In both cases, the name recognition of the sites, rather than the domain types, are predictive of their credibility.

Author: Angelique Chrisafis. There is a link to her Twitter account, which is less credible than a profile on the news outlet's site, but it does provide more information which can be cross-referenced and thus independently verified.

Updates: No updates are provided. Several working links are provided including the entire gallery of the photo collection featured in the article, the WPP official website, and the facebook page of the photographer who was denied the award.

Purpose: This is an informative piece with no promotional agenda.

Graphics: Relevant graphics of the photos are included.

Position on the subject: The same as the above source.

Links: No suggested further reading.